Thursday, December 4, 2008
{12/04/2008 08:54:00 PM}
i don,t know whad th hell happen between us .
NOT FREE , NOT FREE and, NOT FREE is all he told mie !
whad th hell . Is talking to mie a very fcuking difficult task ? i really wants to know laas . can,t we just have a nice talk . just for o5 minutes and i will be damn happy . i am damn confused right now . don,t know whad to do ! don,t know whad th hell i did wrong and don,t know whad i said wrong ! just think that th gap between us is getting bigger and bigger . like i said "you are beside mie right now and i doesn,t feel anything ." . if you are standing beside mie right now , i will say that dhr is a distance betwwen us . i don,t know how to describe these and i doesn,t want to . if you really cares about mie , you will now whad i mean . mye life now seems so meaningless . all mye mind is thinking about whad happen between us . And , as for bearbear , th gap between us is also getting bigger and bigger . said that he would call mie awhile later , but did he ? th ans is NO ! for th whole week , i had been waiting waititng for calls . Not a single one from anyone of them . Did they think of how would i feel ? other than sad , i feel very lonely and neglected . But do they even care ? sms or call mie when they are free . hahas , whad a joke . they are not free all th time . hais . is this a mistake i made ? being fcuking irritatting . i don,t want to change and i never will . cause i am who i am . i won,t change unless i wanted to . FROM NOW ON , I AM NOT GOING TO BELIEVE ANYONE EXCEPT MYSELF as there is no one oud from nowhere for mie to believe . everyone in th world lie to mie . I HATED THAT BUT I GOT NO CHOICE . they made a decision to lie to mie not mie . all i want is just a good talk and nothing else . is that very difficult ? does it kills if you talk to mie ? does it do any harm ? Knowing you and bearbear is my greatest happiness .
dear friends ,
____________continue with your life happily . do not call me , i mean if you wants . cause i am not going to answer or maybe even switch mye phone off for months . cause i am really confused . i don,t know whad to do . all i want is peace . i know th best way to solve things is to face it . But i choose to avoid it because it hurts . i don,t want to get hurt anymore . dying solves mye problems and i will rest-in-peace . cause no one will notice th missing me . thanks alot for even reading mye blog . this makes mie very happy but its too late . my happiness is gone forever and its not going to come back . just because thay are not free .
ILOVEYOU , don,t doubt it . Cause its going to be mye last sentence to you guys .
kathlyn
NOT FREE , NOT FREE and, NOT FREE is all he told mie !
whad th hell . Is talking to mie a very fcuking difficult task ? i really wants to know laas . can,t we just have a nice talk . just for o5 minutes and i will be damn happy . i am damn confused right now . don,t know whad to do ! don,t know whad th hell i did wrong and don,t know whad i said wrong ! just think that th gap between us is getting bigger and bigger . like i said "you are beside mie right now and i doesn,t feel anything ." . if you are standing beside mie right now , i will say that dhr is a distance betwwen us . i don,t know how to describe these and i doesn,t want to . if you really cares about mie , you will now whad i mean . mye life now seems so meaningless . all mye mind is thinking about whad happen between us . And , as for bearbear , th gap between us is also getting bigger and bigger . said that he would call mie awhile later , but did he ? th ans is NO ! for th whole week , i had been waiting waititng for calls . Not a single one from anyone of them . Did they think of how would i feel ? other than sad , i feel very lonely and neglected . But do they even care ? sms or call mie when they are free . hahas , whad a joke . they are not free all th time . hais . is this a mistake i made ? being fcuking irritatting . i don,t want to change and i never will . cause i am who i am . i won,t change unless i wanted to . FROM NOW ON , I AM NOT GOING TO BELIEVE ANYONE EXCEPT MYSELF as there is no one oud from nowhere for mie to believe . everyone in th world lie to mie . I HATED THAT BUT I GOT NO CHOICE . they made a decision to lie to mie not mie . all i want is just a good talk and nothing else . is that very difficult ? does it kills if you talk to mie ? does it do any harm ? Knowing you and bearbear is my greatest happiness .
i wonder if anyone would notice if i leave this world .
th world now is meaningless and colourless.
there is no reason for me to continue living on this world .
if leaving this world , makes you and bear happy , i will .
to you , maybe its nothing .
but to me , its life and death .
have you ever wonder why i feels this way ?
a o5 mins talk to me will make me fly up th sky .
but you choose not to .
since its like this , then i think there is nothing for mie to worry about .
dear friends ,
____________continue with your life happily . do not call me , i mean if you wants . cause i am not going to answer or maybe even switch mye phone off for months . cause i am really confused . i don,t know whad to do . all i want is peace . i know th best way to solve things is to face it . But i choose to avoid it because it hurts . i don,t want to get hurt anymore . dying solves mye problems and i will rest-in-peace . cause no one will notice th missing me . thanks alot for even reading mye blog . this makes mie very happy but its too late . my happiness is gone forever and its not going to come back . just because thay are not free .
ILOVEYOU , don,t doubt it . Cause its going to be mye last sentence to you guys .
kathlyn
